“Duo”

(available in episode 120)

You play the high notes.
I’ll take the low.
If you’re the violin,
then I’ll be your bow.
You be the neck
and I’ll be the strings.
I’ll play the tune,
for the lyrics you sing.
You be the cymbals,
and I’ll be the drums.
Without all of your words,
I’d be just left to hum.
So, come be the chorus,
and I’ll be the verse.
You’re the performance,
after I first rehearse.
While others have big bands,
percussionists too,
the only accompaniment I need
is to be accompanied by you.

“Playing A Tune”

(available in episode 120)

You’ll be surprised when you listen,
that for someone my age,
I manage to play notes
with a very wide range.

I perform many octaves
from the highs to the lows,
including ones that are so high
that only dogs really know.

I’ve perfected my scales,
both major and minor.
You might think that for musicians
that none could be finer.

But, something then happens
when playing a tune,
that within minutes of starting
can clear a whole room.

Do you know what I’m playing?
Perhaps, kinda or sorta.
As I play all the right notes
just not in the right order.

“On My Mind”

(available in episode 118)

I see a tortoise…
No, a puppy…
Gosh, now it’s a cat.
You’re a shape-shifting form,
but much more than that …

In the middle of Summer,
you drift in on the breeze
and sit right up above me
to grant a reprieve,
and I wallow for a moment
in your wonderful shade
before I water the garden
with the rain that you made.

And when Summer becomes Fall,
and your whites turn to grays,
you fill up the sky
for the whole of the day.
Still, your bright silver lining
is a pleasure to find.
I love it when you turn up
and just cloud my mind.

“Somewhere”

(available in episode 118)

Between us right now,
there’s way too much space,
and there’s no way to get you
to come to this place,
and with me simply unable
to visit you soon,
I may as well be on Earth
with you on the Moon.

As I stare at the sky,
the Moon seems too near,
so I’ll picture you sat
on the Sun. I fear
the distance between us
is too great to bear,
as I imagine us together
out there somewhere.

“When The Sun Goes Down”

(available in episode 116)

Out on the border,
where the day meets the night,
and the Sun gifts away
the last of its light,
and the birds sing their encore
before disappearing from sight,
a nose can be seen
from under a hedge,
and a hoot and a flap
are heard off on a ledge.
Then, your world full of yellows
and greens goes to bed,
while the silhouetted blacks
and the grays fill your head.
The world that you claim
to be yours in your town,
is a world full of others
when the sun has gone down.

“My Wildflower Garden”

(available in episode 116)

You popped up, then grew up,
now stand up quite tall.
At the top of your stem,
towering high over all
of the others that appeared
to fill up the bed,
is a bright purple flower
like a cap on your head.
It follows the sun
wherever it goes,
and calls out to butterflies
and bees so they know
you’re a great place to visit,
to drop by on their way.
I love how much wildflowers
always brighten my day.

“Round And Round”

(available in episode 114)

There’s the beginning and middle,
and then comes the end,
which is also the start.
So, I go round again

to see all of the faces, and all of the places
I saw the first time.
Oh I wish I that, instead,
I could run a straight line

as I’m spinning like laundry
in a washing machine.
And, “why?” I ask –
what does it all mean …

to be circling around
like the hands on a clock,
while I listen for a bell
as the sign this could stop?

I guess that being on the track
is always this way.
You could say that I’m just
going in circles today.

“Kale Delivery”

(available in episode 114)

It’s perfect for salads
and also for soups.
If you haven’t baked it for chips,
then here’s my big news …
It’s a mountain of goodness
all leafy and green.
Full of fiber and iron,
Vitamins K and then C.
So I planted it neatly
and it sprouted in rows.
There’s not a space in my garden
where it doesn’t now grow.
The time’s come to harvest,
so I’m picking away.
I’ve been piling it up
for the whole of the day.
Then it’s off in the barrow.
I’ll wheel them ‘round town
to be boiled, baked or fried
and then gobbled right down.
If you see me approaching
you’ll now know my tale.
I just go door to door
with today’s first class kale.

“Our Last Visit”

(available in episode 112)

I remember the last time we went to the beach.
We sat in our chairs, watching the tide.
With gulls overheads, and seals dropping by.
We ate a bountiful picnic, out there all alone,
before packing things up, and heading back home.

How I wish I'd made more of the time we spent there.
I could have suggested we stay, and not go anywhere,
and that we wrap up in blankets as day became night.
We’d talk under stars, and in the dimmest of light,
relish each second of the longest of days
not knowing it would never again be that way.

“A Beach Riddle”

(available in episode 112)

I wear a white cap
but who exactly am I?
I’m found with hellos
and also goodbyes,
and it may sound strange
but I’m sometimes in hair.
If you go to the beach,
you may find me there.
There are times when I’m small,
and times when I’m tall,
and times when you just
can’t see me at all.
But, I perform at my best,
and there’s no place to hide
when people rise up 
on my back for a ride,
before we crash on the land
in a flurry of foam.
Shake your hand towards me
before you head home.

“My New Recipe”

(available in episode 110)

I found it in a magazine.
It was a chance to make a new dish.
So I checked out all
of the ingredients to buy,
and wrote each one down in a list.

Once at the store, things didn’t go right.
They didn’t quite have what I’d want.
So, I went with the next
best thing I could find,
took them home and started to cook.

But, what should have been runny
was solid and thick,
and there were lumps floating up at the top.
It smelled like rubber,
before its color turned black.
It was then I decided to stop.

The meal looked like
it had been dropped from a height,
and had the consistency of stucco or plaster.
I decided just then,
that never again,
would I remake that recipe for disaster.

“Picking Paint”

(available in episode 110)

I decided to paint my rooms all white,
but soon found the walls too bright.
So, I chose instead to paint them black,
but then no longer could see my cat.
Next, I tried many shades of green,
which was the strangest thing I’d ever seen,
until, that was, I turned them blue.
Not knowing what else to do,
I rolled on coats of gray then red,
before I changed them all to pink instead.
But none of the colors seemed to fit –
each one would work a bit,
and also not work at all.
So, I sat myself down to bawl.
Until the idea came to me,
that surely it would be fun to see,
my house painted from high to low
in all the colors of a bright rainbow.

“My Kind Of Jam”

(available in episode 106)

If my day is a sandwich,
I know what’s the bread:
it’s those times when I work
and cram facts in my head.

It’s the times when my chores
are piling up high,
and there’s nothing but bread
slice-on-slice to the sky.

That bread is the start
and the end of the day.
Bookends to events
that are heading my way.

And if life was just bread,
how sad that would be.
Is a sandwich still a sandwich,
if it’s just bread to eat?

Which is why I’m so happy,
that you break up my day.
You add fun and excitement
in your own special way.

On the surface, you’re just
my friends and my fam.
But, to me, and my sandwich,
you’re a thick layer of jam.

“I Hope You Don’t Mind”

(available in episode 106)

I hope you don’t mind,
wherever you are,
that I picture you still being here.
Sat in your chair,
with a paper and tea,
providing comfort by just being near.

Then, there are times when your voice
drifts out from a room.
Yet again, you look for your keys.
It was always this way
and my brain, as a friend,
ensures you'll always be living with me.

“Blockage”

(available in episode 105)

I'm stuck and I'm stumped.
I just have no idea.
Something's blocking all action
between my two ears.

I've struggled. I've strained.
I've dug really deep.
But, my neurons aren't firing.
Perhaps they're asleep.

My fingers are poised.
They're ready to type.
But, floating over my head
is a bulb that won't light.

Oh, where's my Eureka?
Oh, where's my "Ah ha"?
This failure to think
feels truly bizarre.

There's a brick wall, a blockage, 
a mighty log jam,
Right there, in my head,
is a big mental dam.

Please pass me a plunger
that's made for my brain,
so that all my ideas 
can start flowing again.

“My Secret Ingredient”

(available in episode 105)

There's a secret ingredient
I use in my cooking.
I sneak it right in,
when nobody's looking.
That turns all I make
into something quite yummy.
My cakes, pies and dinners
will fill any tummy.
But my special addition
that I put in each bake,
isn't something you buy
or something you make.
You won't find it when shopping,
or out on a farm.
You won't see it in boxes,
or packets or jars.
It turns all that I cook
into a welcoming hug.
If you must know, my secret
ingredient is love.

“All A Blank”

(available in episode 103)

I went in prepared
for each school exam,
but sat down to find
my mind all a blank.

Despite all of my classes,
the books that I'd read,
somehow none of the facts
were still stored in my head.

Around me, the others
were typing away,
proving all that they'd learned
for the whole of the day.

But I was stumped by a question
that asked for my name,
and my response to the next
was exactly the same.

It was then I decided
some jobs weren't me,
as I stared at test questions
on applied chemistry.

What could I then do
with this skill that I have
to put stresses aside,
leave my mind all a blank?

The answer was clear.
I'd have the right reputation,
for a focus on breathing,
and to teach meditation.

“A Quiz Riddle”

(available in episode 103)

We're together in quizzes.
In interviews too.
You probe and explore.
I explain what is true.

Although we're very alike,
and have a lot that's the same,
you're the one with a mark
that carries your name.

They say there's no wrong
versions of you.
People hope that I'm the right
response to a q.

You're the first to appear,
and then I'm next in line.
People know who we are.
Though we aren't in this rhyme.

“Sprung”

(available in episode 101)

It was wound up so tight,
patiently waiting
for the first signs of warmth to arrive.
Until I walked out my door
to see hundreds of signs
that this world was again full of life.
I saw seeds that were sprouting,
flowers grown from bulbs,
blossom bursting open on trees,
as I breathed it all in
to the singing of birds
and the humming and buzzing of bees.
My heart filled with joy
and a fresh sense of hope
now the season had finally begun.
What a pleasure it was
to look out and see
that Spring well and truly had sprung.

“The Bird Choir”

(available in episode 101)

I was friends with the neighbors
until this all started,
when I signed myself up
for the morning’s dawn chorus.
I’d be awake bright and early,
with an alarm set for four.
I’d jump up, get changed,
and dash straight out the door
to stand out on my lawn,
awaiting my part,
listening patiently for a sign
that the singing would start.
Then I’d blast out the sweetest tune
you’ll ever of heard.
So glad to be a member
in the choir of birds.

“Phases Of The Moon”

(available in episode 99)

I have moments of brightness
when I shine like the sun.
Has the day really ended,
and the nighttime begun?
When I turn rays into beams
that help light your way.
Nothing’s dull, when I’m full,
and merge night into day.
But as I wax and I wane,
the slither you see,
is just a small part
of the whole that is me.
Don’t worry as I change
between new, full, and new.
It’s simply a phase
that I have to go through.

“Thank You For Being My Lighthouse”

(available in episode 99)

When I'm lost in the dark,
battered by a wind,
that's howling and roaring.
A prisoner of the whims
of others and of nature,
I'm tossed back and forth.
I want to move forward
but I'm not really sure:
… which way is forward?
… which was is home?
And just when it feels like
I'm out here alone,
your signal breaks through
like a bright megaphone.
And that first careful step
has me moving once more,
as I plot my path safely
back to the shore.

“Tree Planters Are Optimists”

(available in episode 97)

"Tree planters are optimists,"
runs through my brain
as I round out the hole.
The sapling placed in.
An investment growing slowly
over decades of time,
its shade creeping out
over this garden of mine.

And a century from now,
long after I've died
along with all of the stories
about me and my life,
may it stand here as a reminder
of who used to be.

It helps to be an optimist
when planting a tree.

“The Job Of A Tree”

(available in episode 97)

Right outside of my home,
there stands an old tree
that’s as tall a tree
as any tree could be.

And for the whole of its life,
it has been stuck in that spot.
I guess stationary is just part
of a normal tree’s lot.

But, imagine the fun
if it could wander around.
Lift its roots out the earth
and then walk around town

to visit new places,
even stand in the park.
To have a day off.
Then, once it gets dark,

come back to its home
to look out over me.
I guess that always being there
comes with the job of a tree.

“Food On The Brain”

(available in episode 95)

Before we start, can I first check,
will you feed us while we work?
My tummy’s annoyed that I skipped lunch -
hence the rumbling sound you heard.

Surely you have an apple,
or a random spare lunch box.
Oh why didn’t I anticipate this,
and stuff bananas down my socks?

Surely someone here has something,
I could snack on for a while.
If you have a plate of biscuits,
and I can guarantee a smile.

I close my eyes and see juicy pears,
and when I pause a while to think,
my ideas are all about the vegetables
I could blend into a drink.

It’s clear my mind’s just not on this,
and my time here’s all for naught.
Until I eat, all my thinking time
is purely food for thought.

“Life’s Not A Pancake”

(available in episode 95)

Life’s not a pancake,
a prairie, or map
where we’re traversing terrain
that’s predominantly flat.

As the journey we take
has valleys and peaks,
and we oscillate between them.
For days or for weeks,

we may be loving the uplands
where everything’s right,
the wind’s at our backs,
with no problems in sight.

But that plateau can’t last,
and from experience we know
there’s a time when we slide
to the valleys below

where the sunshine feels distant
and life’s spent in shade.
Each step is much harder,
but each one we take

inches us closer
to that glorious time
when our path yet again
offers a chance to then climb.

“Walking In Footsteps”

(available in episode 94)

I walk in the footsteps of others,
where once there were sisters and brothers,
who are lost now to time -
I'm just next in this line.
A merry band of fighters and lovers.

I live in a home on a home,
in a place where I'm never alone.
Where once stood a farm,
and before that a hut.
All that's left now are remnants of stone.

I dig down through layers of time,
buried deep in the silt and the lime,
is a piece from a pot,
and a coin that was dropped,
Signs that the past left behind.

If I look around and choose to discover
ten generations of fathers and mothers,
reminding us all
that we're born, then we fall.
As I walk in the footsteps of others.

“My Museum”

(available in episode 94)

There are walls full of photos
in the very first room
showing the places I've been,
my family and friends.
Pause there for a while
to take it all in.
A pictorial display
from beginning to end.

Then continue the tour
to see shelves stacked with books,
memorabilia I've picked up
from my travels and walks.
And knickknacks I dug up
in some vegetable patch.
All dated from now
to decades gone back.

Ever wondered about fashions
as they come and they go?
Just check out my shirts,
my trousers, and robes,
and guess which year
I'd have been seen around town
dressed up in a look
that's no longer around.

At the end, there's no gift shop,
no place for a tea.
But there's no charge to enter
and there’s plenty to see,
as you travel through time
to learn what came to be.
Come walk 'round the home
I call the Museum of Me!

“I Miss Seeing Legs”

(available in episode 92)

I miss seeing legs,

though I still have mine.

They’re attached to my hips
at their widest point,
then fill the full gap
from my butt to the floor.
All others just vanished.
In this new world it seems,
I’m destined, alas,
to see them no more,

as people pop in
and drop out of my day,
cut off as they are
at their chest or their waist.
Dressed up from the middle
to impress as I wait
in vain for a glimpse
of a foot or a knee.
The only legs to be seen
are belonging to me.

I live in this world
of half-people on screens.
Seen so many by now
that I just want to scream.
Those virtual friends
in their dystopian dream.
As the last one logs off,
I call out to beg,
"don’t leave me alone
with the world’s last two legs."

“My Light”

(available in episode 92)

In the middle of Winter.
In the middle of night.
A darkness so dark,
it absorbs all the light.
You peek out between clouds.
At that moment, I see
when I'm lost in the dark,
you're out there for me.

When I'm feeling my way,
by touching the walls.
Guarded steps driven
from a fear that I'll fall.
Inching slowly towards
a hope that you send.
In this tunnel that I'm in,
you're the light at the end.

You're my lighthouse, my candle,
my flashlight, my spark.
You're the stars and the planets
that fight through the dark.
When I call out for help,
my world becomes bright,
and it's clear, you are near,
for you are my light.

“Spring Back”

(available in episode 91)

When the snows have all melted,
the windstorms have passed.
Despite the chill in the air,
the time’s come at last

to head out to the garden
and feel warmth in the sun
as the bird song announces
that Spring has begun.

The air is now full
of the buzzing of bees,
and the sound of kids playing
floats in on the breeze.

The birds that migrated
are flying back North,
and hibernating animals
are with us once more.

Trees start to look greener.
The grass starts to grow.
Colorful daffodils and tulips
put on a grand show.

As the days become longer,
we feel life is on track,
as we step forward in knowing
we have our Spring back.

“Bee In The Kitchen”

(available in episode 91)

Imagine the surprise of it first dropping in,
through the open window
to a new world within.

Imagine the fun of if buzzing around
visiting pots on the stove,
and the bubbling pans.

Imagine the fun of it watching me bake,
as it flies over bread rolls,
and freshly iced cakes.

Imagine it landing as I make something yummy,
and the pride that it feels
when I open the honey.

Imagine if my new friend would like to pitch in.
Do you see now why I just want
a bee in the kitchen?

“My Least Favorite Jam”

(available in episode 89)

My favorites are strawberry,
and blackberry, and plum.
Then, there's raspberry and damson,
and sometimes for fun,
I'll mix two together
on hot buttered toast,
or have them in sandwiches,
but I like them the most
on a fresh toasted bagel
with a nice cup of tea.
When you open my fridge
inside there, you'll see
a shelf that's packed full
with half-eaten jars.
But there's one I avoid,
and I find them in cars.
They make me frustrated.
They make me feel sick.
I'm no fan ... of a jam ...
that's made from traffic.

“Bounce”

(available in episode 89)

If I had to guess, I'd say that you're
related to kangaroos,
and all those outback bouncing genes
are deep inside of you.

Then I'd guess that your bones are really made
from the rubber found in balls -
those super elastic bouncy ones
that can spring to ten feet tall.

Then, despite your normal ears and nose,
I've noticed a little habit,
of you bouncing up from off a chair
so I guess you're partly rabbit.

It may sound from all these wondrous guesses
that you're a human pogo stick,
which is why I'll say, without a doubt,
you'll bounce right back from this.

“Mole In My Soul”

(available in episode 88)

I consider myself a digger!
I'll dig both day and night.
You’ll find me out in soil and dirt.
I dig with all my might.

Show me a lovely grassy lawn,
I'll tell you to beware.
If you close your eyes then open them,
you’ll see soil piles everywhere.

My shoes are caked with dried on mud.
My clothes are all stained brown.
You know exactly where I’ve been
from the mess I leave around

I dig with shovels, dig with spades,
and dig with my bare hands.
I’ve never really known quite why,
but I’ve come to understand

my role to build long tunnels
and even bigger holes.
On the surface I look quite normal,
but there’s a mole there in my soul.

“Mountains Out Of Molehills”

(available in episode 88)

I walked out one morning
to find that you’d made
a line of mounds, neat and small,
that you’d left on my lawn
like a join-the-dots row
built from the ground up
out of soil.

I decided to leave them
but woke the next day
to find you’d added some more to the top.
What started as dumplings
were growing in size,
leaving me hoping you’d soon
opt to stop.

But, after one week,
they’d reached such a height
that the neighbors could see what you’d done.
And my garden then sat
in near permanent shade
with your mounds of earth
blocking the sun.

Still, I chose to hope
that soon you would tire
and your nightly building would stop.
As I stood on my lawn,
staring up cliffs of soil
with snowy peaks
up at the top.

Now, after a month,
my lawn has now gone,
and it’s clear you’ll be digging until
I wake up each morning
to look out upon
mountains you’ve built
from molehills.

“Call Away”

(available in episode 86)

I know you’re over there,
while I’m over here.
You feel far away,
when you used to feel near.

But, wherever you are,
you can just call my name.
In the oceans. On mountains.
It’s all just the same.

I’ll drop what I’m doing
and ride the next train.
Or I’ll jump on a boat.
Rent a car. Catch a plane.

There’s no distance too long.
No canyon too deep.
No waters too wide.
No cliff face too steep.

The moment you need me,
don’t even delay.
I’m your friend, day or night,
just a phone call away.

“Friends”

(available in episode 86)

Friends aren’t just for minutes,
for hours or for days.
They’re not just for weekends,
or fun holidays.

Friends aren’t just for evenings,
for a dinner or two.
Friends aren’t just for company
when there’s nothing to do.

Friends aren’t just for good times,
or even for bad.
Friends aren’t just for cheering me up
when I’m sad.

Friends are there at the beginning,
and stay ‘til the end.
So, on each page of my diary,
you’ll find the word “friend”.

“Self-Raising Flowers”

(available in episode 83)

I don’t plant them, or feed them,
or water them at all.
Don’t fertilize them in Summer,
or trim them in Fall.
I don’t prune them, or thin them,
or weed where they grow.
I don’t pick them, or put them
in vases on show.
So, I’m taking no credit
for the joy that they bring
when announcing we’re close
to the arrival of Spring.
They shoot out the soil
between rain and snow showers.
Just call them my favorite
self-raising flowers.

“Snowdrops”

(available in episode 83)

I wake up and look out
upon a vista anew.
You arrived overnight
to embellish the view
with a join-the-dots scene
to bedazzle the brown.
Porcelain drops
hanging close to the ground.
Pealing their bells
to announce Spring must be near.
How I cherish that morning
the snowdrops appear.

“Knocked Out Cold”

(available in episode 82)

After an hour, the cold in my toes,
spread through my feet,
and up through my bones,
'til my knees went all blue
and my legs were both numb.
If you'll pardon the expression,
I lost touch with my bum,
as that cold spread upwards and inwards and 'round.
With my lips and tongue frozen,
I mumbled a sound
to say that I'd thought being outside never get old,
but an hour in the snow just knocked me out cold.

“Run Like The Wind”

(available in episode 82)

Over oceans and mountains and fields it came,
building up rage while roaring its name.
Until it finally arrived outside of my home,
with me bundled up, inside on my own,
as it searched for narrow gaps under the doors,
exploring the crawl space and up through the floors.
Hinges began creaking as it whistled its tune.
Loose papers were spinning and danced ‘round the room.
There was mayhem as the noise of banging repeats,
with me hid away under blankets and sheets.
After an hour, all exhausted, it calmed itself down,
and considered moving on to visit others in town.
If it lingers, my hopes will firmly be pinned
on a dash for the door as I run like the wind.

“Owl Be There”

(available in episode 80)

When you feel alone, Owl be there.
Owl always be your friend.
Owl be your companion.
Owl stand by you, ‘til the very end.
If you need to leave, Owl come along.
Owl even lead the way.
Owl hold your hand throughout the night.
Owl be there throughout the day.

Owl share in all those happy days.
When sad, Owl make them fun.
Whatever you need, Owl be there.
Owl always be the one.
Though others fall, and others fail, Owl be one that’s true.
Owl not leave.
Owl not go.
Owl be there for you.

“Two Word Riddle”

(available in episode 80)

You start early and don’t end until late -
the exact opposite of me!
You’re all bright and illuminating
whereas I make it much harder to see.

It's obvious there are ways we are different.
You have your break, trips, and care.
Whereas I have my life, fall, and over.
But there are still a few things that we share.

Afterall, people find similarities between us:
we both have our dreams, beds, and time.
They find us with mid and also with week,
which surely helps solve this rhyme.

I feel like we must be related.
There's just one thing that's a shame:
when people think of us together,
they call the combined us by your name.

“The Watched Snowflake”

(available in episode 79)

The weather forecaster clearly predicted
that today we'd see some snow.
So, I got up early to wax my runners
then layer on my clothes,
before sitting down patiently to watch and wait
for this brown-gray world to turn white.
I've now stared for hours at darkening clouds,
without a single snowflake in sight.

Everything comes to those who wait.
Surely, I’ve now waited enough.
I know that I need to be patient,
I'm just finding this waiting too tough.
As I’m sat down here at my window,
there’s a lesson today for us all:
no matter your wanting and wishing,
a watched snowflake simply won’t fall.

“To The Very End”

(available in episode 79)

Head first.
Feet up.
Belly on a tray of steel.
Flying in a farmer’s field.

Gripping tight.
Icy slope.
End up where I may.
Gravity’s effect on a steel tray.

Clamber back.
Try again.
Rinse, repeat, half a day.
Alone at last with my steel tray.

Keep going.
Never stop.
Permission granted to pretend.
This is me, to the very end.

“The Sum Of The Parts”

(available in episode 77)

On my birthday today,
let’s count all my years
using fingers and toes
to see what total appears.

I’ve been a brother for 80.
For over 60, a son.
Happily married for 58
great years of fun.
Then add 55 more
for my time as a dad,
before we start including
the jobs that I had.
Like 30 in business,
and then add 20 more years
working in industry
as an engineer.

I had years in the garden,
and with dogs in the park.
I built a whole house,
and mended our cars.

By now, I bet that you’ve
used all of the toes
and all of the fingers
your arms, legs, and nose.
Now, add all those numbers,
right from the start,
to see life’s less about the whole,
than the sum of the parts.

“Winter Birthday”

(available in episode 77)

I have one every year,
with lots still to go.
They make quite the collection
as my longevity shows.
But mine always turn up
in the dark, rain and snow.
Oh, I'd love it if they came
in the Summer, just so...
I can host a fun party
in a garden or park,
we'd barbecue, play games,
make s’mores in the dark.
Or we could have a pool party
in the hot Summer sun,
with ice creams and cold drinks
to accompany the fun.
Or we could go to the beach
and play in the sea,
who wouldn't want to
celebrate with me?
It's fun to dream that things
could turn out that way,
but, sadly I'm stuck
with a Winter birthday.

“At The End Of The Year”

(available in episode 75)

We’ve been together since the very first snow,
and through the winds and storms.
Watched bulbs burst out through frosty soil.
Heard the returning chorus at dawn.

We saw flowers blooming. Blossom-filled trees.
Felt the warmth of a mid-Summer sun.
We saw the days grow long, and then grow short,
sensing our journey would one day be done.

Then the leaves fell down to blanket the Earth,
and the winds turned chilly again.
We knew our time would draw to a close,
as the clouds brought snow mixed with rain.

Let’s celebrate the journey we walked side-by-side,
as we head our separate ways.
I’ll always think back, and cherish each one
of your three hundred and sixty-five days.

“Happy New Year!”

(available in episode 75)

When the clock strikes,
jump up and down,
scream with excitement,
and run all around.
Pull on a popper.
Throw a balloon.
Hold hands and sway,
while you sing out a tune.
Joyously dance
all your worries away,
as tomorrow’s not just
any new day.
For when the clock strikes,
make sure I’m near
so you’re the first person
I wish, A Happy New Year!

“Cast”

(available in episode 72)

I have my heart set on theater -
being cast in a play
that we’d take around cities
before storming Broadway.

So, I auditioned for the lead …
but didn’t get the part.
Although I was sad,
I didn’t take it to heart

as there were plenty of other
roles fit for me.
I auditioned for each,
and soon came to see,

I could practice my lines.
and think hard on each role.
But within seconds of starting,
I’d politely be told …

“Assuming what you’ve shown us
is you at your best,
you’re not right for the part,
thank you … and … next.”

In my mind, I’d be joining
the cast with no doubt.
But I was first cast aside,
and then I was cast out.

“Dear Writer”

(available in episode 72)

Dear Writer… I’m sharing my reactions,
to the news I heard today,
that you’d thought of me
and wrote a part for me
in your latest film or play.

I initially felt quite honored
that you’d write this special role,
but the more I hear
the more I fear
that there’s a story to be told

about something I did long ago
to make you really sad.
Or perhaps, without knowing,
I said something
to make you really mad.

I apologize for everything
and anything I did
that resulted in
you screenwriting
to typecast me as a squid.

“Inspiration”

(available in episode 71)

Inspiration is a sudden
light in the dark.
A flash of sheer brilliance
that’s just like a spark,
caused by something you see
or something you hear,
and right out of nothing
an idea appears

that you grab hold of and follow
to see where it goes,
and you play and you prod
as creativity flows.
A seed that you planted
that sprouts up and grows.
What will it become?
No one yet knows.

Time passes quickly
as hands and minds race.
Where once there was nothing
what’s there in its place
is what you created
for the world to admire
by the light of a spark
one day when inspired.

“When I Grow Up”

(available in episode 71)

There are teachers and trainers,
butchers and bakers,
firefighters, farmers,
movers and shakers.

Those jobs are all fine
but they’re simply not me,
as nature inspires me
to grow up to be…

… a flower in a meadow,
or a fish in the sea,
an ape swinging wildly
high up in a tree.
A lion … no, a cheetah,
or maybe a fox.
A starfish at the seaside
attached to a rock.
An oak or an elm.
A cow or a sheep.
An orca or humpback
in the oceans so deep.
A snake or a rabbit,
or even an ant.
A daffodil or tulip.
A cactus or plant.

So, go be a nurse,
a dad or a mum,
while I sit here and ponder
what to become.
With so much to choose from
it’s easy to see,
why I’m yet to decide
what I’ll grow up to be.

“Goodnight Sun”

(available in episode 69)

When the sun goes down, where does it go?
Does it go to theater to see a great show?
Or does it take advantage of the quiet at night
for grocery shopping with no one in sight?
Or does it stay home and put up its feet,
after a long day of working, providing us heat?
After thinking this through, the only answer I see
is the sun goes to shine a long way from me.

“Twinkling Star”

(available in episode 69)

Twinkle, twinkle,
little star.
I can’t believe
just how far
you are from me,
for when it’s clear.
I see you like
you’re so near
to me that I can reach
out to hold
your world all shiny,
hot, and gold.
Until clouds drift in,
and you disappear.
A twinkling star
that’s far, not near.

“A Hole In One”

(available in episode 68)

I’m picking my clubs,
and hitting the greens.
My swing is the strangest
you’ll ever have seen.

I’m on every tee.
I’m putting away.
Walking up and down fairways
for the whole of the day.

I have balls slicing left,
and balls slicing right,
and have balls colored neon
for when I’m playing at night.

I’ve been out here for hours,
but something’s not right
as my balls are disappearing
well out of sight.

I’m dressed for the part
with my shirt, shoes and hat.
I look a real pro,
but despite all of that

I have no hole in one,
and I’ve lost all control.
I’ll be happy if I ever
get a ball in a hole.

“Taking Part”

(available in episode 68)

I don’t play to win.
I play to have fun.
So, at the end of the game,
I’m not bothered who won.

I may be last, or in first,
somewhere between,
and wherever I finish
I’m never angry or mean.

Winning for me
is when we have a good time,
and what matters is that
I’m always gracious and kind.

Monopoly, Scrabble,
tennis, or bowls.
There’s such joy to be found
to replenish your soul.

It’s a lesson in life
that I’ve taken to heart.
It’s not about the winning
but about how we take part.

“Fuzzy And Blurry”

(available in episode 66)

My world’s all fuzzy and blurry.
It makes for quite a sight.
I’m spinning dials,
and squinting hard,
but just can’t get
it right.

For sure, objects seem bigger.
I just can’t tell what they are.
They’re just a blend
of colored shapes
that mash-up near
and far.

I’ve tried with one eye open.
I’ve tried with glasses off.
But nothing works.
I may give up.
The whole thing’s just
too tough.

My 20-20 vision
is zero-zero today.
With my focus gone,
the time has come,
to put these binoculars
away.

“Migration”

(available in episode 66)

Hang on, birds, I’m coming.
Migration’s sure for me.
I’ll pack my clothes,
and bathroom bag.
Just wait there in a tree.

A Winter in the sunshine
by a pool or sea,
with swimming, sports,
and lots of fun.
It sounds ideal to me.

Who needs a plane to reach the warmth,
I’m with the swifts and geese.
They know the way,
I’ll follow them.
I’ll get there in one piece.

Come March, I’ll join you coming home.
I’ll be back again by Spring.
So, wait a mo,
for me to pack,
and then to grow my wings.

“The Windy Day”

(available in episode 63)

It started this morning
with the gentlest of breeze -
barely enough to rustle
the leaves in the trees.

By noon it was blowing
at more of a pace.
Enough to spread objects
all over the place.

All afternoon, it blew
with more and more might.
Snapped branches and bushes
disappearing from sight.

I should have known better,
that the timing’s not right
to head off outside
to try fly my kite.

It dragged me about,
and pulled me around.
Lifting both of my feet
clear up off the ground.

With a gust and a blow,
it lifted me higher,
as I dodged roofs and chimneys
and telephone wires.

Eventually it dumped me
from quite a great height,
and I landed up here,
still holding my kite.

Which is how I’ll explain
what happened to me,
if I ever get down
from the top of this tree.

“The Hurricane”

(available in episode 63)

It first struck the garden
with eye-watering force,
before knocking down plants,
smashing open the door.

It rolled through the hallway
spreading papers and mud,
falling furniture landing
with an ear-shattering thud.

It blew through the kitchen
and then up the stairs,
leaving a trail of old clothes
and tipped over chairs.

It stormed through the bedrooms –
where toys and books flew,
the bathroom was next,
and the living room too.

All that was standing,
was left lying down,
and the house was messiest
one in the town.

It’s all the devastation
you’d expect there to be,
with a direct hit on home
from Hurricane Me!

“My Slumber Party”

(available in episode 61)

Nobody slumbers
at my slumber party.

We laugh and we chat.
We eat and we play.
Determined to survive
a whole night and whole day,

without falling asleep,
or having a nap,
so we watch some TV
and play some Mousetrap.

We’re snacking on popcorn.
We’re amped up on juice.
We’re flying around
like apes on the loose.

But just when it seems like
this party won’t end,
I get the urge to sit down
and then finally to spend

time with one eye closed,
and then with the other.
I just have to lie down,
and I finally mutter,

“I tried all I could
to be party hearty,
but it turns out I slumber
at my own slumber party.”

“Just Around The Corner”

(available in episode 61)

When it’s cold or rainy,
or covered in snow,
and the days are short
and there’s nowhere to go.

When the trees are all bare.
The flower beds too.
The birds have migrated.
My thoughts turn to you.

As we all need someone,
a friend or a place,
that gives us some hope,
and in my special case,

it’s Spring that I cling to.
I feel happy and warmer,
knowing you’re heading my way,
just ‘round the corner.

“Saving For A Rainy Day”

(available in episode 60)

I pretended all Summer,
they didn’t exist,
but with Autumn arriving,
I’ll get out my list.

There’s a puzzle on the shelf
I’ll be fetching down soon,
and a book at my bedside
I haven’t opened since June.

There are cobwebs need cleaning,
toys under the bed,
and more hair in my hairbrush,
than there is on my head.

There are socks spread widely
all over the place,
and clothes that need folding
piled on each space.

I have cousins to write to,
and friends I should phone
having missed a few birthdays:
an omission I’ll own.

I have a list full of tasks,
I store safely away.
It’s important to be saving
for the next rainy day.

“My Autumn Riddle”

(available in episode 60)

It was under my arm,
when I returned home in Fall,
but can you now guess
what the object is called?

It starts with a letter
in Parsley and Pea,
if I then throw in Sprouts,
there’s not two but three.

The second is in Sunshine,
but not Rain Or Snow.
The third is a letter
that comes before NO.

The fourth and the first
are exactly the same,
and the fifth is in cake
but isn’t in came.

The sixth and the seventh
are definitely IN.
All the clues that you need
are now hidden within.

This riddle is tough.
I cannot deny.
While you figure it out,
I’ll go make some pie.

“Sprouts”

(available in episode 58)

There's food on the ground,
and food in the sky.
You'll find it in bushes,
and trees way up high.

It comes colored green,
yellow, or red,
that you can eat standing up,
sitting down, or in bed.

There's food stored in jars,
packets, and cans.
You can munch it up raw,
or cook it in pans.

It's solid or runny,
and some makes a crunch.
It can be perfect for dinner,
or breakfast or lunch.

There's food in a cup,
and food on a stick,
that you can nibble real slowly,
or gobble down quick.

With so many options,
how does it work out,
that I’m sat here for dinner
with a plate full of sprouts?

“News To Me”

(available in episode 58)

I don’t read the paper.
Don’t watch TV.
I have no social media.
So it’s easy to see
why I have no idea
what’s happening now,
in far away countries
or here in my town.

Perhaps you have heard.
Perhaps you now know
what comings are coming,
and what goings will go.
Do you have any snippets,
or nice juicy truths?
I could get so much info
from chatting to you.

Have you seen somebody
or been to a place?
The world’s changing quickly
at a remarkable pace.
Do you have any data?
I’m ready for you
to share all your knowledge
and evidence too.

Could you take a few minutes?
I’m sure you’ll agree
that any details you share
will be news to me.

“Band”

(available in episode 56)

I joined the band,
but just couldn’t play.
None of the sounds
came out the right way.

On brass, I’d suck
when I really show blow.
On the strings, I was holding
the wrong end of the bow.
On drums, I tried playing
with my hands not with sticks.
That crash wasn’t cymbals,
I was banging two bricks.
I failed with the oboe,
the flute, and bassoon.
I just came across
as a music buffoon.

I guess that my racket
was too tough to withstand,
and despite all of my trying.
I’ve been banned … from the band.

“The Music Pioneer”

(available in episode 56)

The drum kit's located center stage,
the brass off to its right,
the strings are lined up to the left,
for my solo show tonight.

Yet my drum sticks are safely in a bag,
my bows are in a case,
my pedals sit up on a shelf,
my mouthpiece locked away.

I’ve heard it said I am unique:
a music pioneer.
As when on stage to perform a show,
I play everything by ear!

“Take To The Bank”

(available in episode 55)

You should go to the river.
You can borrow my chair.
There's a place near a willow.
Once you're sat there,

here's a book - it's my favorite,
and a journal to note
all that you see:
the birds, fish, and boats.

And here's a packed lunch,
a thermos of tea,
and a nice slice of cake.
I'm sure you'll agree

some time by the river,
your mind all a blank,
is a gift from a friend
you can take to the bank.

“The Fish Band”

(available in episode 55)

There was a Bass and a Salmon.
A Trout and Carp too.
Playing hard Rock and Sole,
‘til their Breams all came true.

They were Perched up on stage,
with Mullets galore,
and they Clowned and they Floundered.
Did the Conger and all!

They Cod have done better.
It was Roughy for sure,
And most folks agreed that they
broke one or more lures.

If only the band
had ended it sooner,
as it was clear to us all
they were all out of Tuna.

“Hollywood Star”

(available in episode 53)

I dreamt of being an actor:
a star of stage and screen.
The best-known household name
this world has ever seen.

I pictured being a Poitier,
a Dench, or Meryl Streep –
with a string of hits, also starring me,
releasing every week.

You’d see my name in papers,
my face on magazines.
I’d be honored by the Oscars,
and knighted by the Queen.

I’d live in gated mansions.
Dining out for free.
They’d install a plaque where I grew up
with the road named after me.

Sadly, the dream is still just that,
and fame it does elude.
‘Though you may have heard me on TV
selling cereal and dog food.

While waiting for a film role,
I’m in pantomime right now.
You won’t know my name, or see my face.
I’m the rear end of the cow.

“Acting Strange”

(available in episode 53)

I’m in an acting position,
just doing it temporary.
You could just say,
I’m acting strange,
or acting arbitrary.

Today, I’m acting normal:
a hard act then to follow.
In my juggling act,
you’ll find in fact,
I’ll act differently tomorrow.

If I’m acting funny towards you,
the advice I give is clear,
just leave me be
you’ll come to see
the whole thing’s my idea.

When I’ve got my act together,
my life will be jam-packed.
So, I’ll act my age,
on and off the stage,
‘til they catch me in the act.

You may see me acting out or up.
I’ll act like a kid all day.
I can explain it all,
come curtain call,
I’m just acting in my play.

“Pond World”

(available in episode 52 and on YouTube)

There's a pond in my garden -
a different world, so it seems.
I now keep a pond diary
of all that I've seen.

It has dragonflies, frogspawn,
pond snails, and toads.
It has newts and pond skaters.
As for larvae, there's loads.

In Summer, it has grass snakes.
In Winter, there's frogs,
amphibians hide in rockeries
and piles of logs.

The whole year 'round,
there's something to see,
grab a pen and some paper
and come watch with me.

“The Very Modest Fish”

(available in episode 52 and on YouTube)

For a decidedly pretty fish,
you’re a very shy guy.
You blush oh so red,
if I look in your eye.

For all you’ve accomplished,
you have modesty too,
you don’t boast of achievements
that draw attention to you.

You’re bashful and humble:
so reserved for a fish.
To be as unassuming,
is something I wish.

Your unpretentious nature
is what I enjoy.
You brighten the pond,
yet you’re also just koi.

“To Have Or To Be”

(available in episode 52)

Life can be hectic.
Just dashing around.
We all need a spot,
to sit down and lounge.
A place that is peaceful
and good for the soul.
Where the parts of my life
come together as whole.
Where my mind isn’t racing,
my stress put away,
my worries are silenced.
For a brief time that day,
I’m mindful and restful.
The joys that I see,
when I‘m not focused on having
and I just start to be.

“My Squeaky Wheelbarrow”

(available in episode 50 and on YouTube)

I’ve got a squeaky barrow.
It squeaks so shrill and loud
that people come
from far and wide
to form a massive crowd

to see what makes
a noise that’s like
a giant mouse in pain.
The neighbors desiring a peaceful life
pray nightly now for rain,

to keep me safely in my house,
my barrow in its shed.
But, on sunny days,
it squeaks away,
until it’s time for bed.

I love the squeaks
the barrow makes
as I push it full of soil,
and I vow to never silence it
with any type of oil.

So, if your world’s too quiet,
don’t sit there and critique.
Come push my barrow
round with me,
and fill your world with squeaks!

“In A Pickle”

(available in episode 50)

I may over-estimated the vegetables
when I planted seeds this year.
Now my kitchen’s full of cabbages
and corn stacked ear-to-ear.

I store broccoli in the bathtub,
carrots are in the sink.
I’m eating kale with every meal,
cucumbers with every drink.

My teeth are brushed with celery.
I have shallots in my shampoo.
I’m making soap with green beans,
from the hundreds that I grew.

I’m eating bread and onions.
I’m baking peas and beets.
On Sundays, I dip sliced turnip
into syrup for a treat.

I’m worried that I’ll turn into
a vegetable one day,
and doctors will come to harvest me,
before carting me away.

With veggies ripening every day,
I’m picking more and more.
With my tummy and my house both full,
I’m in a pickle, that’s for sure!

“Salad Days”

(available in episode 50)

I pull a head of lettuce,
pick tomatoes off the vine,
throw in radish
and Spring onion,
that I chop up fine.
We love our garden veggies
in a hundred million ways.
Not least when we
sit down to eat,
here in our salad days.

“My Radio”

(available in episode 49 and on YouTube)

AM. FM. Digital.
I'm scanning just for fun.
I listen to a hundred stations.
Never settle just on one.

Sports talk, classical, 80s,
then jazz followed by rock.
In the afternoon, it's chart hits,
soft ballads and hip-hop.

I wake up to the radio,
and it's on when I go to bed.
It doesn't matter if I turn it off,
I'll still hear it in my head.

I'll tune in for the traffic,
and to hear the local news.
Or I'll tune into a far off station,
from a country that I choose.

I've listened since I was a kid.
For sure, I’ll never end.
When I'm all alone, and no one calls,
the radio's my friend.

“Fifteen Seconds Of Fame”

(available in episode 49)

I feel so excited.
I've always wanted to be
a star of the radio,
or one on TV.

Now my chance has arrived
as a guest on your show -
I'll impress and I'll dazzle
sharing all that I know.

We're on in five minutes,
so I'm clearing my throat,
drinking my water,
and reading my notes.

In the years that I've waited
for this day to arrive,
I've dreamed of the moment
the studio's live,

the microphone’s ready,
the lights are all on.
I'll be beamed to the world
at the end of this song.

Then, you ask me a question,
but no answer comes back.
My eyes are all glazed,
and my mind is all blank.

My chances of fame
ended quickly that day.
When I forgot everything
that I'd wanted to say!

“The Answer Machine”

(available in episode 49)

If you're looking for answers,
you're at the right place.
I'm known as the amazing
answering ace.

I'll answer any question
you want to ask me.
You can ask me a hundred,
and I'll guarantee

to answer each one,
and I'll answer them quick.
I'm the answer machine,
so lay them on thick.

I have answers on history,
geography, sport,
capital cities and rivers.
I'll answer them all.

Quantum physics, maths,
science or art.
Don't ask any easy.
Make them tough from the start.

I'll answer your question,
and we'll sure get along,
if you accept that my answers
are frequently wrong.

“Birthday Candles”

(available in episode 48 and on YouTube)

There’s an extra candle
on my cake this year.
It’s a little brighter,
bringing even more cheer

to the celebration
that after 12 more months,
I’m now taller and wiser.
So, this time, for once

I’m going to prove to them all
as I get ready to blow.
With my friends all around,
it’s time now to show

that I can snuff out all candles
at the very first try.
But the moment I start,
I begin to see why

there’s a limit to how many
my lungs can blow out.
Soon I’m just spluttering
and kids start to shout,

as the last of my blow
leaves me red in the face.
All the candles still burning
on the top of my cake.

“My Walkie-Talkie”

(available in episode 48)

I love my walkie-talkie!
Press the button. Start to talk.
Despite the name, I’ll talk sat down -
as I’m not required to walk.

What’s your 20? Copy that!
Come in loud and clear.
Turn the volume up real loud
so everyone can hear!

Alpha, Bravo, Charlie.
Affirmative. 10-4.
I’ll use the lingo that I know,
and then I’ll make up more.

Roger … Standby … Over
Do you copy? Go ahead.
I’ll be on it. Wilco. Never phone.
Walkie-talkie me instead.

There are just just two rules to follow,
and you’ll find these never change:
don’t speak ‘til it’s your turn;
and don’t go out of range.

“Party For One”

(available in episode 48)

I brought myself a present.
Wrapped the box up tight.
Then tried very hard to forget
about the gift I’d put inside.

I left it on the table
just beside the cake,
the knife, the fork, the single spoon.
The lonely party plate.

After blowing up a red balloon,
I hung it on the door.
Then cleared away all the chairs
to boogie on the floor.

I ate some trifle from the fridge,
and to muster up delight,
I then played pass-the-parcel
from my left hand to my right.

No matter what I did, or what I ate,
it simply wasn’t fun
to celebrate all alone
at my party just for one!

“Family Style”

(available in episode 46 and on YouTube)

We’re squeezed in real tight –
crammed around the table,
with knives, forks, and spoons,
and large wooden ladles.

First comes the pasta,
then large plates of bread,
meatballs, and salads,
to keep us all fed.

The chatter is loud,
and the food keeps on coming,
as we reach over each other
for a serving of something

that’s tomato and cheesy,
and good for the soul.
I have handfuls of bruschetta
that I’m swallowing whole.

Our faces are food-stained,
and covered in smiles,
when we all get together
to eat family-style.

“My Specialty”

(available in episode 46)

If you’re coming to dinner,
you really should know
that, when it comes to my cooking,
I’ve a long way to go.

I’m fine with a packet,
a box, or a jar,
or takeaways delivered
by bike or by car.

But if I make it from scratch,
the lessons I’ve learned,
is that most things get scrambled,
curdled, or burned.

If a taste in unusual,
for sure, it’s my fault,
as I’ll have picked up the sugar,
instead of the salt.

I mistake tablespoons for teaspoons,
kilos for pounds,
leaving thick molten goo
in my pots and my pans.

My bread is like biscuits,
my biscuits like bread,
and it’s not spoonfuls of custard,
it’s slices instead.

To be safe, I’ll just cook
what's successful the most.
Be prepared for my specialty
of cereal and toast!

“Spring Cleaning”

(available in episode 46)

Armed with a sponge,
some wipes, and a cloth,
hot soapy water,
a broom, and a mop,
I’m diving behind couches,
then scrubbing down floors.

I’m polishing the brass,
and wiping down doors.
I’m chasing dust bunnies,
and picking up hairs,
then relocating spiders
from under the stairs.

The sink is now sparkling,
and so is the shower.
I’ve been hard at it now,
for five or six hours,
when I clear out the garage,
and empty the shed,
then pick up lost socks
from under the beds.

By the time that I’m done,
we'll have plenty to cheer.
I’m glad Spring only happens,
just once every year!

“The Dog Show”

(available in episode 43 and on YouTube)

The performance began quickly,
once the curtain went up,
with a ventriloquist act
from a beagle and pup.

Then on the trapeze
we saw Rover and Spot,
and slight-of-paw magic
from a Dalmation named Dot.

A family of spaniels
performed as a choir,
before a Labrador Retriever
walked the high wire.

Then a rock band of dachsunds
played sing-a-long hits,
while gymnastic Chihuahuas
all did the splits.

I watched quite amazed,
sat in the front row,
the night of the strangest
ever dog show.

“The Story Of Nibbly McNibbleson”

(available in episode 43)

Nibbly McNibbleson was the dog nibbling queen.
She’d nibble everything when she couldn’t be seen.

She nibbled her legs, and she nibbled her paws.
She nibbled so much, her poor body was raw.
Then, she nibbled her blanket the whole of the day,
to the point where she’d nibbled the blanket away.

One day, she tired of nibbling her bed,
and decided she’d try doing licking instead.

So, she licked all the mirrors, the tables, and chairs.
Then, she licked all the rugs and the carpeted stairs.
Her licking won a place in the dog Hall of Fame,
and so Licky McLickerson became her new name.

“99 Dogs”

(available in episode 43)

I saw two people, heading off for a walk
with 99 dogs in a pack.
So, I asked them why they had so many dogs,
and they thought for a while and said back,
“We’ve tried having different numbers of dogs:
from a lot to hardly any.
The lesson we’ve learned is 98’s not enough
but 100 dogs is too many.”

“Plus One”

(available in episode 41 and on YouTube)

Here's my invitation.
I hope you can come.
Block off your diary,
let's go have some fun.

We're only here once.
We have places to go,
and people to meet,
and lots more to know.

When in need of a hand,
why not grab mine?
Or cry on my shoulder
in challenging times.

We all need someone,
and it's easy to see
that I'm that for you,
and you're that for me.

So, here's my invitation.
I hope you can come.
On life’s big adventure,
will you be my Plus One?

“Ring On My Finger”

(available in episode 41)

There’s a ring in my ear,
and a ring in my nose,
a ring in my navel,
and a ring on my toes.
There’s a ring on my phone,
and a ring at the door,
and my last cup of coffee
left a ring on the floor.
I have rings in my bells,
and rings in my trees,
but when I look at them all,
the most important of these
is the ring on my finger
for the whole world to see
that shows I am with you,
and that you are with me.

“You Broke The News”

(available in episode 41)

You turned up here,
and broke the news …
now, I don’t know how to mend it.
I’ve tried some glue
and sticky tape,
but there’s really no pretending
that it’s all the same
as it used to be.
This has me all bemused.
I regret the time
you turned up here
just to break the news.

“Two Tents”

(available in episode 40 and on YouTube)

We all went camping,
as a group of good friends.
It seemed a great way
for the Summer to end.
We found a nice spot
where we couldn’t be seen,
and made a camp fire
for our big pot of beans.

The upset all started
when pitching our tents.
Ours was all tiny,
and yours was immense.
Whereas ours was the size
of two sleeping bags,
yours had two bedrooms,
a washroom, and flags.
Ours was all grassy,
and soon filled with bugs,
whereas yours had nice cushions
and some comfortable rugs.
We hung a small lamp
with its pitiful light,
while a generator powered
your tent all the night.

Eventually, I screamed,
but, in my defense,
the passions ran high
when us friends got too tense.

“Our Campfire Meal”

(available in episode 40)

I built up some kindling
to start on my fire,
adding twigs, then some branches
so the flames would grow higher.

I peeled all my spuds,
and opened up cans.
Then, on went my pots,
and on went my pans.

By the time we were done,
the potatoes were roasted,
the stew had been cooked,
the marshmallows been toasted.

Then, we ate round the fire,
and sang all our songs,
'til the sun had gone down,
our energy gone.

So, we retired to our tents.
We'd done all we could,
and I slept like a log
the day we burnt all that wood.

“My Morning Kiss” 

(available in episode 40)

Last night, in the dark,
I got into my tent,
and, for sure,
I was the only one there.

I slid into my bag,
zipped it up tight,
and fell asleep
quite unaware

there was anyone else
inside of my tent,
curled up,
in my deck chair.

It was therefore a shock
when I woke the next day,
with a morning kiss
from a black bear!

“My Picnic”

(available in episode 38 and on YouTube)

I found a nice spot,
and laid down my blanket,
then went back to the car
to go fetch the hamper.
I opened it up,
and got out the treats:
the vegetables and fruits,
and three types of cheese.
I had biscuits and cake,
and juices galore,
enough for us all,
and a large number more.
I arranged it all nicely,
then went back to the car
to fetch cushions and napkins.
Though the walk wasn’t far,
the animals pounced quickly
and as you’d predict,
I went hungry the day
that my picnic was nicked.

“Take A Hike”

(available in episode 38)

I’ve been chased by a ram,
and chased by a bull!
I slipped, and I tripped.
Banged my head in a fall.
I’ve got cuts on my elbows,
and scrapes on my knees.
I’ve been stung by some nettles,
some wasps, and some bees.
As a result, I’m now wondering
why some people I like
suggested this morning
that I go take a hike!

“What We Discovered”

(available in episode 38)

We set off on a hike
to see what we’d find,
while stretching our legs
and relaxing our minds.

First we discovered
a meadow with flowers.
We discovered a forest,
where we wandered for hours,

before we discovered a great spot
to sit down and eat,
while we refueled our tanks,
and rested our feet.

After lunch, we discovered
a forest and meadow...
hang on, we’ve been here before!
We really should know

that when we’re doing a hike,
take a map at all cost.
Don’t end up like us.
We’ve discovered we’re lost.

“Are We There Yet?”

(available in episode 37 and on YouTube)

Just how long will it take us
to get to this place?
I’m bored - can’t you tell
from the look on my face?
I’m yawning and wriggling,
stuck in my seat.
My legs are both twitching,
and I’m banging my feet.
I’ve finished my snacks
and drunk all my drink.
My brain has seized up,
and can no longer think.
It’s ten minutes since we left,
so it feels a safe bet
that the news will be good
when I ask .. are we there yet?

“Traffic”

(available in episode 37)

On a nice sunny day,
it’s easy to see
why every single person
just wants to be
somewhere they weren’t
at the start of the day.
This explains why they’re all
now making their way
East when they woke up
off in the West,
and for those in the East,
yes – you’ve guessed -
they’re driving themselves
the opposite way.
All of which
leads me to say
that the roads would flow faster
for me and my car,
if everyone was happier
with wherever they are!

“Day Out”

(available in episode 37)

Let’s take a day trip
and go have some fun.
Tell all of your friends
that they’re welcome to come!
We can drive to the country
to take a long hike,
or head to the woods
and cycle on bikes.
We could visit a castle,
or drive to the sea,
canoe on a lake,
or snowboard, or ski.
We should head off right now!
Let’s not delay,
as it’s sad that a day trip
only lasts for one day!

“Piece Of Cake”

(available in episode 35 and on YouTube)

“Cleaning your room is a piece of cake,”
were the exact words that my mom said.
So I tidied it up, putting everything away,
with a few things pushed under the bed.

I went and asked when the cake would arrive,
as I’d eat it when watching TV,
but my mom said she knew nothing of cake,
and just looked all puzzled at me.

She went on to say something about taking
what she says with a big pinch of salt,
but I definitely don’t want any salt with my cake,
if there is then I’ll know it’s her fault.

To be honest, I don’t care for her sayings.
I just want to eat my cake soon.
If I don’t, I’ll just rub her salt in a wound
by creating a mess in my room.

“Full of Beans”

(available in episode 35)

On reflection, I really over-did it,
as I'm now so full of beans.
I ate them, and ate them, and ate them,
plus they're all over my shirt and my jeans.
The first course was a plate full of baked beans.
The second was pinto and black.
The third course was garbanzo and navy.
By the fourth course, there was no going back
as I shoveled down spoonfuls of refried
beans warmed up, and with cheese.
Then, for dessert, I ate kidney bean brownies.
At which point, I dropped to my knees.
Now I find myself here at the doctor’s,
strapped to beeping machines,
while nurses all stand back awaiting
the moment I just spill the beans!

“Nuts”

(available in episode 35)

I'm simply nuts about cooking!
I use them everywhere:
on the side, in the middle, and as sprinkles.
There are plenty of nuts here to share.
I put Brazil nuts inside of my pancakes,
hazelnuts in my leek stew.
I have walnuts all over my fish pie,
and my cupcakes are topped with cashew.
You'll find peanuts shoved inside olives,
and almond spread on cold cuts.
Just take one look at my cooking
and you'll agree it all screams the word "nuts".

“Sand In My Sandals”

(available in episode 34 and on YouTube)

I've got sand in my sandals,
sand between toes,
sand in my hair,
and sand up my nose.
There's sand between pages
of the book I was reading,
and sand at the bottom
of the drink I was drinking.
I've got sand in my pockets,
and sand in my eyes.
If you add it all up,
it should be no surprise
that enough of this beach
will head home with me.
When I pour it all out,
it will be easy to see
the whole situation
just get out of hand,
and I'll just have to bury
my head in the sand.

“Crabby The Crab”

(available in episode 34)

Crabby the Crab was only crabby by name.
Despite all of her joy, it seemed such a shame
that she’d be playful, and happy, and joking all day,
still those on the beach would pointedly say,
“Don’t be so crabby, you crabby little crab.”
Now, that could have made a normal crab mad,
but Crabby kept smiling simply because
she liked being happy, and loved who she was,
and she always planned on staying the same:
she wasn’t crabby by nature, only by name.

“Day Trip”

(available in episode 34)

When a family of mice takes a day trip,
they’re going to need a big bus,
because there are so many mice in a family.
There are far more of them than of us.

Off they all went for a day at the beach,
the bus all packed full of mice,
with Gran at the back, the kids at the front.
The weather was set to be nice.

When they arrived, they played in the sand,
and some dipped there paws in the sea,
before they went off to the fairground.
Except Granny, who sat down for tea.

They did every ride, the big and the small,
and before they stopped for a meal,
they all had the fun of running really fast
inside of the big Ferris wheel.

When they got home, the kid mice were asleep,
when the bus pulled up at their house,
which is why we all say, at the end of the day,
please be as quiet as a mouse.

“Meant To Be Together”

(available in episode 32 and on YouTube)

Like the roots in the soil,
the leaves in the breeze,
the crows making nests
high up in trees.
Like the trunk with its bark,
and the bird with its feather,
we were meant
to be together.

Like the boats on the ocean,
the tides on the sand,
the point on the horizon
where the sea meets the land.
Like the whitecaps on waves
in stormy weather,
we were meant
to be together.

Like the saucepan and lid,
the bread and the jam,
the butter and knife,
the eggs and the ham.
Like the salt and the pepper,
side by side forever,
we were meant
to be together.

“Together Again”

(available in episode 32)

It has been quite a while,
since we were together,
and, although I see your smile
on the computer or phone,
when we’re done with our call
I’m back all alone.

My life’s like a jigsaw
with one missing piece,
and whatever I try
I feel incomplete.

I can’t wait for the day
when you can be here,
and I’ll hold you so tight,
while I hold back a tear.

So, travel by car,
by bike or by train,
and after such a long time
we’ll be together again.

“Knock On My Door”

(available in episode 32)

There’s a knock on the door!
Who could it be,
standing on my doorstep
calling on me?
It could be a relative,
or maybe a friend.
Does this mean that my drought
has finally come to at an end?

Their rat-a-tat-tat
is a wonderful sound.
For months now, there’s just been
nobody around.
For so long, I’d forgotten
how great it can be
to have somebody here
in the same place as me!

Ummm ... I wonder who’s out there?
I’m excited to see!
A real human being
has visited me.
The excitement has my heart
beating clear out of my chest.
I better open the door
before I find out they’ve left!

“Allergy Analogies”

(available in episode 31 and on YouTube)

Having an allergy is like…

being stuck with someone
you really don’t like,
who’s with you all day,
and again all the night.

You’re like a runner,
but not how it usually implies,
as your legs don’t go running –
it’s your nose and your eyes.

It’s like you’re one touch away
from serious harm,
and wishing for once
you could visit a farm,

without falling apart
all over the place.
It’s like wherever you go
you find yourself chased,

and there’s nowhere to hide,
and it’s easy to see
just how annoying
allergy analogies can be!

“Allergy Season”

(available in episode 31)

I can tell from your expression
that you’re going to sneeze,
and not a dainty subtle squeak
with a gentle wafting breeze,
but an ear-bursting explosion
that will tear right through this place
once the air you just gasped in so hard
erupts back out your face.

In the seconds I find that I now have,
I’ll dive under the bed
else I’ll feel large chunks of ceiling
dropping down upon my head.
Once safely there, I’ll stay a while,
and hide for the good reason,
that many dangers lurk around
here in allergy season.

“My Allergy Test”

(available in episode 31)

On a normal doctor visit,
to check my weight and height,
my eyes, they watered,
my nose, it ran.
The doctor took out her light.

She checked my throat,
and in my ears,
then wrote down on her pad
that I should keep a detailed diary
of when my allergies got bad.

For the next three months, I noted
whenever I did a sneeze,
or my eyes they ran,
or my skin all itched
from my head down to my knees.

I saw my doctor every week,
when she tried to analyze
whether it was grasses,
cats, or household dust,
giving me red and puffy eyes.

She was puzzled that I was fine at home,
yet my allergies they'd peak
after six whole days
of not a single sneeze,
I'd be awful once a week.

Eventually, she cracked it,
and, for that, I'll never knock her.
As I’m fine with cats,
and grasses too,
but I'm allergic to my doctor!

“Bare Bear”

(available in episode 29 and on YouTube)

It's as in bear with,
and not bare behind.
So don’t bear your soul,
but do bear in mind.

Although bare and bear
sound the same word,
they only bear a resemblance
in the way they are heard.

First, you bear down,.
Then, you bear up.
Why bear a grudge?
Just give a bear hug.

Don’t bear the brunt,
or bring pressure to bear.
Trust it to bear fruit,
and be bear aware.

Let me bear witness,
on why you should care.
Although this may be more
than you really can bear.

“The Letter X”

(available in episode 29)

The letter X is patient and kind,
politely letting others go first.
It waits for its turn when words are being spelled,
knowing many things in life could be worse
than a second place in axe or a third place in fox,
and sometimes X just stays home
awaiting the day that some kid will say,
“How do I spell xylophone?”

“Punctuation”

(available in episode 29)

I have to dash - I simply must dot...
I put colons everywhere:
and just in case, I use question marks.
If not here? Then there?
In a period like this. “You simply must use
quotation marks with glee,”
and hyphen-words quite-a-lot
and end with apostrophes’.
• When in doubt use bullet points
(brackets, exclamations too!)
Putting commas, after, every, word,
is something you simply should do.
If you then “read what I write,“
you’ll see words I’m quite fond of -
but, while the words I write are interesting,
it’s the punctuation that I love!!!!

“Make A Stand”

(available in episode 28 and on YouTube)

I’m following your instructions –
at least the best I can –
to first stand here,
and then stand there.
Now I don’t know where to stand.

You told me not to stand too close -
a problem I’ve surmounted
as I stand up straight,
to accept my fate.
I’ll stand up and be counted.

If we have a stand-off,
I’ll want you to be proud
of the stand I took
when you came to look
at me stand out from the crowd.

It appears I’m at your beck and call,
and do what you command,
but the time will come -
as a shock to some -
when I finally make a stand.

“My Posture”

(available in episode 28)

With my feet together, but legs apart,
I guarantee I’ll look the part.
My head is down. My eyes are crossed.
My chin is up. My jaw is locked.
My hair is parted. My bottom’s clenched.
My lips are pursed, and my elbows bent.
My knees stick out, as do my lips.
My toes are pointed, as are my hips.
With my shoulders drooped, my chest stuck out,
my nostrils wide, I have no doubt,
nobody here will forget the night
I finally got my posture right.

“My Forearms”

(available in episode 28)

Someone told me I had forearms,
which is definitely news to me,
as I’ve only seen two when I shower!
So where could the other two be?

I checked every part of my body,
using mirrors to look at my back,
but apart from the two either side of my head,
I can’t find two others attached.

Having concluded I only have two arms,
to go with two feet and two legs.
I’m worried that I’m still missing something:
hang on… don’t people all have foreheads?

“Fun With Veg.”

(available in episode 26 and on YouTube)

Bean and be seen.
Iceberg in a wedge.
There’s always mushroom
when you have fun with veg!

Relish a radish.
Go have a leek.
A carrot a day
is a whole bunch a week!

Devour a cauli.
Go hug a spud.
Ravage a cabbage.
Lettuce be loved.

Go out with a sprout.
Get lost in a maize.
Stay up-beet.
Join the kale craze.

Why not grow veg,
in a garden or plot?
I’ve no more to say.
I guess that’s shallot.

“Growing Veg.”

(available in episode 26)

I was clearly over-optimistic
about my gardening skills.
I dug up soil and planted seeds
to lower grocery bills.

That all happened some months’ ago,
when I pictured lots of veg,
growing neatly all in rows
that ran from hedge to hedge.

But, after many weeks of waiting,
there's not a carrot to be seen,
nor a cauliflower or cabbage,
or any type of bean!

I must have mixed up all the seeds.
It’s a flaw my garden exposes.
As nothing is coming up vegetables,
and everything’s coming up roses.

“My Non-Vegetable Diet”

(available in episode 26)

I didn’t eat vegetables just for one day,
then another, and then a whole year.
No broccoli, carrots, not even a pea.
Meat and bread were the only foods for me.

Until I woke up one morning and couldn’t see right.
Strange things had happened to me all through the night.
So, they called for the doctor, who came right away.
He prodded and poked me before turning to say,

“You must just eat vegetables for the rest of the year,
and do so while grinning from ear to ear.
If you don’t, expect consequences to be really rough,
as your head will come loose and your legs will drop off.”

Ever since then, I’ve eaten my peas,
carrots, broccoli and cauliflower cheese.
I’ll only let vegetables pass through my lips,
as I want both my legs attached to my hips.

“Between My Ears”

(available in episode 23 and on YouTube)

Whatever you told me,
it went in one ear
and it shot out the other
so I have no idea
whether it was something important
I really should know,
like where are the keys
or where I should go.
Now this has happened,
the lesson is clear,
that next time you talk
I should block up one ear,
so whatever you’re saying
stays in my head,
and I retain every word
that you’ve ever said!

“Your Language”

(available in episode 23 and on YouTube)

Everything you said to me
was about as clear as mud.
Not a single word that you used
was one I understood.
Maybe you were speaking French,
the language used in France,
and so if you spoke to someone French,
perhaps they’d stand a chance.
Or were you speaking Russian,
German, Welsh, or Dutch?,
Someone from those countries
would understand so much
of what you tried to tell me
for an hour or two,
and until they’re here,
I’ll nod just like
I speak the same language as you!